Intro: Aaron Weiss
Found these old letters from years ago
Felt it was fitting to continue that correspondence
Can’t help I’m sentimental
Thanks for talking with me today, I hope this is helpful for you
I also hope that Birdie is happy and healthy and staying out of trouble to a reasonable extent
What I wrote was sort of my way of finally being able to address how it feels to have [spoken under verse] anyone look at you as anything but the human you are,
Good and bad
For me, mostly bad
A lot of girls would come up to me before or after a show
And tell me I’m perfect or that they want to be like me
And, well, I realized that maybe it’s some melodramatic version
Of what they may truly feel
What I really hear is “you can do no wrong in my eyes”,
At that point I’m not even thinking about my
Interaction with them anymore, my mind is just reeling
I’m thinking about how much my insides are a complete contrast
To what is being projected onto me
There were so many seemingly horrible things happening last year
I just wanted to die
I didn’t even feel like what I was doing was useful anymore
We couldn’t even keep ourselves healthy,
Let alone spread any sort of hopeful message
It felt embarrassing to be trapped inside myself
And think I had a purpose
None of these things even begin to scratch the surface of faith and God, and where my head was at with that reality
I had nothing else to rely on, no ego, no relationships I trusted
And no hope
And these times I had envisioned hope as a little pinprick of light
Down a long, long dark tunnel
And this time there was no tiny light, nothing
So I just thought about future and death
My whole life I’ve been trying to make people feel better
But I can’t even make myself feel better
It’s hard to think that we’re about to head back out
Into the wild, after being in a safe cocoon for nearly two years

Verse: Aaron Weiss
Another brick-red room, another black-top town
Another misspelled band burning their own houses down
Another pine-box tune to fill the cemetery day
Another star, a touch of orange over purgatory gray

Another thorny field to scatter fruitless seed
Another song that runs too long, God knows no one needs
More misguided ghosts, more transparent hands
To drop a nickel in our basket and we’ll do our riot! dance

Beneath another burning sky, behind our painted lips
In scores of catatonic smile-covered ankle-bitten ships
So throw your pedestal of stone in the forgetful sea
As protection from the paper-thin perfection you project on me

When this repetition ends behind the window shades
A semi-conscious sorrow sleeping in the bed I’ve made
That most unrestful bed, that most original of sins
And you’ll say that’s what I get when I let ambitions win again

I’d hate to let you down so I’ll let the waters rise
And drown my dull reflection in the naive expectation in your eyes
Back in a cast bit-part, back when I felt most free
I had a butcher’s heart and no one thought they knew me

So before the regiment resumes, before the dreaded sun appears
My driver’s waiting, so let’s make one point crystal clear:
You see a flood-lit form, I see a shirt design
I’m no savior of yours and you’re no friend of mine

You’re no friend of mine
You’re no friend of mine
I’m no savior of yours and you’re no friend of mine
You see a flood-lit form
I see a shirt design
I’m no savior of yours and you’re no friend of mine

Outro: Aaron Weiss
I have(?) to see myself in the reflection of people’s eyes
Realising that what they see may not even be close to the image I see in myself
And I think I might actually be more afraid to let my own self down than anything else
I feel like the man in the story
Who saw a bear floating in the river and thought it was a fur coat
Twelve years ago I stood on the shore
And jumped in and grabbed the coat
The river was rushing toward a waterfall
And my friend stood at the shore and shouted to let go of the coat and swim back to land
I let go of the coat but the coat won’t let go of me
In any case please let me know if there’s more I can give you
If nothing comes of it, then just know we are grateful